If you have a school-age child displaying behavior problems, you’ve learned what ‘frustrating’ and ‘burned out’ mean.
Sometimes it can be hard to know if your child has a small problem or a bigger one. As a parent, you want there to be no problem and it can be easy to quickly magnify any situation. Your home life can go from serene to chaotic in a moment, and it’s easy to start feeling like things are out of control.
Let’s face it, all children have problems, just like adults. The real question is how bad the problem is and what can we do to improve it.
Now, I am not a therapist or a doctor. I am a mom with over 27 years of parenting experience, and based on that experience, here are my thoughts on recognizing behavior problems in children.
Mild behavior problems.
In this category we have garden variety challenges faced by school age children.
= Not doing housework.
= laziness.
= Not to do things the first time they are told (or the third or fifth).
= Procrastination.
= Occasionally disrespectful speech. My mother used to call him “daring.”
Mild behavior problems in school-age children have a lot to do with the child’s individual temperament. If you have a strong-willed child, you left mild behavior problems a long time ago! In general, these types of problems are mostly solvable with clear limits and firm reminders. Task charts can be helpful and fun in this process.
== Moderate behavior problems.
All children visit this section at least from time to time. Here you can expect to find:
= More regular homework problems.
= Occasional problems at school.
= Possible intimidation.
= Talk again.
= A LOT of foot dragging when doing work around the house.
These types of behaviors call for stricter limits, more serious consequences, and a 100 percent enforcement rate. Obviously, making your child see the error of his ways at this stage will be better than if he advances to the next stage.
== Severe behavior problems.
These are the kinds of problems that completely unsettle a family. (Remember, these are for school-age children, ages approximately 5-13.)
= Frequently disruptive at school.
= Drug/alcohol use.
= Vulgar speech used against others.
= run away
= violent.
These are not easy problems to fix. They tend to be deep-seated and can be exacerbated by the onset of drug or alcohol use. They often require professional help, as well as the committed family effort.
In all of these categories, I have just given a sample of behavior problems. Real life is much more complex. And all children exhibit signs of more than one category from time to time.
As a parent, you know your own child better than anyone. If you notice your school-age child’s behavior problems are getting worse, take steps to help sooner rather than later. Investigate the child’s behavior, read books, ask questions and, if necessary, seek professional help.
Everyone has difficulties, but steps can be taken to minimize those problems. Behavior problems in school-age children can be mild, moderate, or severe. Whatever level your child is facing, you can learn to handle her challenges and become the responsible adult she knows she can be.