How to start over after being abused is the question no one imagines they would ever have to answer. Reasoning that it is acceptable to act verbally or physically abusively to resolve a conflict in a relationship is wrong, and a prime example of the violent altercation of pop stars Chris Brown and Rihanna is sadly not the first nor will it be the last.

I hope this changes one day. Very often we tend to focus on insignificant things like who is to blame or what is the current state of your relationship. When the focus must be on how it could have happened from the beginning and ensuring that it can never be repeated again. The only way to break this destructive cycle is through healing and creating a new platform of self-esteem that can never be tainted. If you find yourself in another heated moment, think carefully about the consequences and walk away.

I am not mistaken or apologizing for the unfortunate circumstances of your actions. To his credit, he’s talented, easy to see, and seems quite friendly. However, I know that as women we cannot hit a man, but I know how to prod harsh comments that can justify the pain. It is because of my faith in God that I firmly believe that this was his wake-up call to change in an incredible way. It begins by admitting problems and taking corrective action with intense counseling and without playing a pointless blame game. These people and anyone can get through this and continue to live a purposeful life. First start by taking back control of yourself. It’s about taking the first step in the right direction and ending low tolerance for respect for others. If you rely solely on your history together and love, then you are setting yourself up for failure. The abuse can only continue if you allow it.

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