When it comes to what makes one person attracted to another, it can be easy to believe that it’s simply due to the effect the other person’s personality and/or appearance has had on them. These two factors will have had the greatest effect on why someone is sexually attracted to another person.
One way of looking at this would be to say that these are the only two things someone is aware of when they meet another person. Sure, there may be how much money they have or how famous they are, for example, that they can play on the side, but in general there will usually only be two things to go through.
a result
If after one is sexually attracted to another person, he ends up taking things further with him, there is a chance that this area of his life is going from strength to strength. One can then look back when they met and reflect on how well they are doing in this area of their life.
So it could be said that one had the ability to see that this person was suitable for them, and that is why they were attracted to them. So this is similar to seeing something that is healthy and having a strong urge to eat it.
Different challenges
Now, this is not to say that you will never argue or experience conflict; what it means is that this will not be something that permeates your relationship. And, even when they do have a disagreement, they can usually work it out in a mature and loving way.
Then there will be no reason for either of you to lose self-control and blame the other. What this can show is that you both have the ability to own your own feelings, instead of holding your partner responsible for them.
looking back
This could be this area of your life for as long as you can remember; then one is not going to have been in an abusive relationship before. There is a chance that one may have had quite an enriching childhood.
Alternatively, they may have been in a series of relationships that were not. What this might illustrate is that one has had to work with a lot of baggage in order to experience life in this way.
a different result
On the other hand, after going further with someone they are sexually attracted to, they may find that it is only a matter of time before they start to feel completely different. This is not to say that this will take place after a few weeks or even a few months, as it might take a bit longer.
After the so-called ‘honeymoon’ period is over, one might wonder what happened to the person they were with in the beginning. It could be as if this person has been replaced by another.
A big surprise
Consequently, it will be normal for one to feel confused and even victimized by this person. It might seem that the vision they had of the other person was nothing more than an illusion.
They might come to believe that this person was out to trick them from the start, knowing exactly what they were doing. However, while it may seem like they had no idea what would happen over time, this is not the whole truth.
Two parts
Consciously, it was clear that they had no idea what would happen; As far as this part of them was concerned, the other person was a good match. However, the thing is, it wasn’t just their conscious mind that made them attracted to this person.
What also made them attracted to this person was what was going on in their unconscious mind. In fact, what was happening at a deeper level would have had a much greater effect.
two diaries
In a way, it would have been as if your conscious mind had one list of things to look for and your unconscious mind had another list of things to look for. At first, it would have seemed that they had met someone who matched the list they knew, but over time, the person would have matched the list they didn’t know.
What this shows is that what happens at a deeper level is much more in control than what happens on the surface. Consciously, one may have wanted to be happy and be with someone to share his life with, for example, but on a deeper level, he would have wanted to attract someone who would allow him to relive his unresolved childhood wounds.
repetition compulsion
For example, let’s say one had a caregiver who was cold and distant or who was verbally abusive, they may be attracted to someone who is the same. Years will have passed since this time in their lives, but this early trauma will have stayed with them.
Because of this, being around someone like this will be what feels familiar to you, and therefore what feels safe to your unconscious mind. Ultimately, attracting people who will bring these wounds to the surface is a way for them to become aware of what they have disconnected from within and then heal it.
Awareness
But, if one is not aware of what is happening and blames the other person, it will be more difficult for him to grow and develop. They may end up feeling angry and bitter, believing that the world is against them.
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If one can relate to this and wants to heal their childhood wounds, it may be necessary for them to seek external support. This can be done with the help of a therapist or healer.